The good stuff hides down alleys. That's the whole point.
Melbourne doesn't do icons the way Sydney does. Its genius is interior: laneways that bloom with street art overnight, basement bars behind unmarked doors, and a coffee culture pursued with the seriousness other cities reserve for religion. Give it three days and it becomes many people's favourite Australian city.
Start at Flinders Street Station — the golden-domed grande dame of Melbourne — and dive into the grid. Hosier Lane is the famous street-art canyon, repainted so often that no two visits look alike. Degraves Street does the espresso-and-croissant morning scene; Centre Place crams a dozen hole-in-the-wall eateries into fifty metres. The elegant 19th-century Block Arcade and Royal Arcade connect it all like a secret indoor city.
The trick to Melbourne is to stay curious: the unpromising alley with the dumpster usually has the best bar in it. Look for queues of locals, not signs.
Melbourne's baristas treat a flat white as a craft object, and the city's café benchmarks — silky microfoam, single-origin espresso, ricotta hotcakes — have colonised menus worldwide. Institutions to try: the industrial-chic roasters of Fitzroy and Collingwood, the Italian espresso bars of Lygon Street (Melbourne's Little Italy, pouring since the 1950s), and any café where the barista asks which origin you'd prefer. Don't order a "large coffee"; sizes are a Sydney thing.
The Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) holds 100,000 people and the city's soul. If you're here April–September, go to an Australian Rules football match — you don't need to understand it; the crowd is the show, and tickets are cheap. January brings the Australian Open tennis; November the Melbourne Cup, a horse race that literally stops the nation. Stadium tours run daily if the fixture gods don't cooperate.
The Queen Victoria Market has fed Melbourne since 1878 — come hungry, leave with cheese. NGV International is the country's most-visited gallery and free to enter. Cross the river to Southbank for the arts precinct, then tram to St Kilda at dusk: a stroll down Acland Street's cake shops, then the pier, where a colony of little penguins waddles home most evenings — free, unticketed, and better than most paid wildlife encounters.
Neighbourhood cheat sheet: Fitzroy for vintage and vinyl, Carlton for Italian, Richmond for Vietnamese, Footscray for East African and the city's best pho.
Melbourne is the launchpad for the Great Ocean Road — do it over two days rather than one long one. The Yarra Valley (wine and hot-air balloons) and Phillip Island (the famous penguin parade, plus surf and seals) are both around 90 minutes away. In winter, the alps at Lake Mountain offer snow play close to the city.